Kobayashi Wolfs Down 337 Wings in Half-Hour

We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

As we're just two days away from the single most gluttonous day of the year, we figure we ought to highlight the achievements of those pushing the boundaries of human consumption. Thankfully, the bottomless pit that is competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi has set the record for the most chicken wings eaten in a half-hour by wolfing down an astounding 337 wings at a competition in Philadelphia. Kobayashi already holds the records for most Twinkies in a minute (14), most meatballs in a minute (29), most hamburgers in three minutes (10), and fastest time for eating a bowl of pasta (45 seconds). He also holds the unofficial record for most hotdogs in 12 minutes with 69. The wing record, set at South Philly's Wing Bowl XX, might be his most impressive to date, as he demolished the old record by 82 wings. "Kobi" won $20,000 for his efforts, and said he intends to top himself next year.