Toronto Mayor to Join Pinko Commies on Stage

Rob Ford to bring his unparalleled grace to the National Ballet's production of The Nutcracker.

Ah, the ballet... According to the Toronto Star, the beloved mayor of Toronto, Rob Ford, will grace the stage in the National Ballet of Canada's production of The Nutcracker this holiday season. Ford will play the role of one of two "cannon dolls", roles that are typically reserved for Toronto celebrities, such as Mats Sundin, David Miller, and Rick Mercer. For this part, the mayor will dress in a brightly coloured costume but sadly won't be doing any dancing during his two minutes on stage, although we hear he's been setting his sights on the role of Claudius in the Ballet's upcoming production of Hamlet.