Three Elements Added to Periodic Table

Say hello to darmstadtium, roentgium, and copernicium, three elements that don't really exist and would kill you if they had the chance.

High school just became ever more difficult, as the body that governs the periodic table of elements has added three more elements to the list. The International Union of Pure and Applied Physics gathered in London recently and conferred elemental status upon elements 110, 111, and 112 – darmstadtium (Ds), roentgium (Rg), and copernicium (Cn). As if spelling ununquadium wasn't difficult enough. Anyhow, these lucky three elements don't actually exist in nature, as they've only ever been created in labs. And even then, these "super-heavy" elements are too unstable to last for much more than a few seconds before breaking down. Now, we might have nearly failed Gr. 11 chemistry, but come on, IUPAP ... your standards are slipping. You're becoming like that club that used to have the most exclusive guestlist in town before you realized a bar can't sustain itself on only 109 customers. Plus, copernicium? That is sooooo 16th century. Now, Bieberium ... that's an element we can get behind. We suppose justice can be restored once elements 113-118 are confirmed (so long as they don't, y'know, Curie-fy their creators).