Tory Senator Wants Canada to Ditch Beaver for Polar Bear

Nicole Eaton slanders the mighty beaver in making her case for switching to the polar bear. Will you let her get away with this?

Well, here's a debate that no one wanted to bring up: A Conservative Senator wants Canada to ditch the beaver as its national animal and replace it with the mighty polar bear. Talk about your hidden agendas. Sen. Nicole Eaton says it's time we get get rid of the "dentally defective rat" in favour of the world's largest land-based predator, whose "strength, courage, resourcefulness and dignity" properly reflects the Canadian character. An interesting proposition (we've got nothing against polar bears! They're huge and beautiful, even if they do have a habit of eating their young, which, come to think of it, is becoming more and more symbolic of this country's economy ...), but slandering the mighty beaver as a buck-toothed rat? Sorry, Ms. Eaton, but that just doesn't fly. Those little guys are some of the hardest working critters on the face of the Earth. They make their home in just about every region of the country, their fur practically built this country's economy, they survive the winters by building homes out of trees they chewed down, shape the country's waterways with their construction habits ... heck, some of them in Alberta built a dam so large you can see it from space. Whereas rats, well, they feast on leftovers and garbage. And again, there's nothing wrong with the polar bear. But if you want an animal that reflects the national character, the industriousness, family-oriented, hardy, economically productive, and adorable beaver can't be topped. Shame, Sen. Eaton, shame.