PETA Sues SeaWorld for Whale 'Slavery'

We guess that when that killer whale killed the trainer last year it was the orca version of Nat Turner's rebellion, then?

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have pulled yet another stunt (yawwwwn), this time saying that aquatic theme park SeaWorld's treatment of its killer whales violates the U.S. Constitution's amendment against slavery. A statement from the animal rights' group says it's filing a lawsuit against the popular amusement park, listing five orcas from the Florida and California parks as plaintiffs. The suit claims that by taking the killer whales from their parents as infants, forcing them to live in aquariums, and getting them to perform "stupid tricks" (something PETA knows an awful lot about) amounts to slavery, which is forbidden by the 13th amendment of the U.S. constitution. SeaWorld has politely told PETA that "extend the Thirteenth Amendment’s solemn protections beyond human beings is baseless and in many ways offensive.” Now, of course there's no way of this case ever coming to fruition, and while we're big fans of our cetacean friends, we're going to side with their supposedly cruel overlords at SeaWorld here. Comparing the lives of five whales to those of hundreds of thousands of African-American slaves before 1865 is just... kind of abhorrent, actually, and just serves to make the animal right's plight seem far more ridiculous than it actually is. Way to go, PETA. You got your headline.