Two Minutes for Unsportsmanlike Conduct

The CBC faces the hockey equivalent of trying to tell your grandfather he might be too old to drive.

At least once a year, Don Cherry manages to dominate news in this country far more than any subpar minor league hockey player ever ought to, whether he's calling out "left-wing pinkos" at a mayoral induction, turning Coach's Corner into an alter of military worship, or criticizing players from Quebec or Europe for their supposed softness. This year, he's chosen to rail against retired NHL players who think we ought to reconsider the role of fighting in professional hockey, calling former fighters Chris Nilan, Jim Thomson, and Stu Grimson "pukes", "turncoats", and "hypocrites" for their stance. Jack Todd, writing for the Montreal Gazette, says it's about time that CBC cut Cherry loose if they want to do their part in protecting the health of future hockey players. "If you want to find the hypocrites, you need look no further than the CBC executives who have acted as the enablers for Cherry, the people who are really responsible for all the vitriol, ugliness, ignorance and hatred Don Cherry has rained on us over the years," seethes Todd. Perhaps those executives would be more worthy of a pink slip – after all, the only thing Hockey Night in Canada has that the other sports networks don't (besides airing games on Saturday night) is an old man howling about a sport he hasn't coached or played in for more than three decades. HNIC ain't what it used to be – relying on tradition as your chief selling point starts to become a liability when that tradition is one of xenophobia and boorishness.

The Globe and Mail's Lynn Crosbie, on the other hand, champions Cherry as an "enforcer of free speech," the lone commentator willing to call a puck a puck during an era in which hand-wringing over rules and safety has become a national pasttime. "Should we have everyone we find distasteful fired, toward creating a politically and emotionally correct utopia?" asks Crosbie. No, we shouldn't, for reasons Voltaire elaborated upon much better than we ever could. Cherry's also been one of only voices to have campaigned to make equipment less dangerous to the players who get hit by it and for the league to introduce no-touch icing. So no, we're not calling on CBC to fire the guy, but his contract with CBC is up at the end of this NHL season. Perhaps the CBC ought to take a cue from general managers across the NHL and let their aging, overpaid star player test the free agent market. Lord knows they'll be looking high and low for ways to cut costs soon enough.

Damian Cox of the Toronto Star calls a time-out on the whole fracas, telling the three "pukes" that they're only feeding the beast by responding to Cherry's nonsense. "Getting involved with Cherry is just playing his game and distorting any useful message they may have on the subject," says Cox. "State your ideas and opinions, and don’t worry what the CBC bully has to say." Plus, it's not like he's that influential among people who can actually make changes to the sport. As Cox notes, Cherry's been calling for no-touch icing for years and no one in the NHL has paid him any mind. We really doubt that Cherry's ramblings keep the league's chief disciplinarian, Brendan Shanahan, up at night. So for now, just follow Shanahan's lead and ignore him. And if you want to send the message to CBC that this season should be Cherry's last, change the channel during that first intermission. If the ratings-beholden broadcaster finds out that their inter-period entertainment is driving eyeballs away, Cherry will ride into retirement faster than you can say "too many men on the ice." Or be plucked up by the Sun News Network. Either way, no one will ever see him on their television screens again.