Panasonic Enters Robot Team in Hawaii Triathlon

The real worrying begins once Panasonic decides to enter them in a biathlon.

Japanese electronics maker Panasonic is entering a team of robots into Hawaii's Ironman triathlon next month, pushing us ever closer to the date when they become self-aware and decide humanity's kinda lame. The three 'Evolta' robots are intended to show off the power of Panasonic's line of batteries, which makes the trio sort of like a real-life Energizer Bunny albeit far more existentially frightening. Panasonic designed one robot for biking, one for swimming, and one for cycling, and while the team's not expected to come close to its human competitors, the company hopes they'll finish the 225-kilometre race in under a week. We recommend that the robots' fleshy rivals just drown the damn things. They've already beat us at Jeopardy! and chess; if they start thinking they can outrun or outswim us, we're heading to our robot shelter.