Lemons

If Life Gives You Lemons ...

  • First Posted: Aug 18 2010 01:44 AM
  • Updated: 2 months ago

What do you do when you're Stephen Harper? Lady Gaga? Don Draper? Here are 20 new twists on the old expression.

A wise person once said that when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Then some frat boy's T-shirt said that when life gives you lemons, you ask for the tequila and salt. Then Happy Bunny said, "When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in the eyes of your enemies." And recently Russell Brand tweeted:

The Mark decided to ask some other well known figures: What do you do if life gives you lemons? Here are their replies. (Disclaimer: We didn't actually ask them.)

Stephen Harper: Slowly dismantle the lemons and hope Canadians don't notice.

Lady Gaga: Incorporate the lemons into your outfit.

Michael Ignatieff: Either make lemonade or don't – whatever a regular Canadian would do.

Lindsay Lohan: Complain that life only gave you lemons because you’re a celebrity. Demand that life take back the lemons because you’re a celebrity. Then ask for more free stuff.

Elizabeth May: Thank life profusely, because as long as you eat local, these are the only lemons you're going to get.

Don Draper: Be Don Draper. The lemons will swoon and beg to sleep with you.

Mel Gibson: Demand that the lemons blow you.

Jack Layton: Give the lemons to the government and, should you become thirsty, apply to receive assistance from the Department of Lemonade.

Perez Hilton: Do this:

Then write something unfunny about the lemons.

Gilles Duceppe: Convince some of the lemons to start calling themselves citrons.

Elizabeth Taylor: Marry the lemons.

James Cameron: Remake the lemons in 3D.

Barack Obama: Promise the greatest batch of lemonade since Lincoln's lemonade; deliver pretty good lemonade.

Brangelina: Adopt the lemons.

Al Gore: I invented lemons.

Snooki: Demand pickles instead. Lemons isn't your thing.

Dr. House: Diagnose the lemons with lupus. Pop a Vicodin. Notice the lemons spurting blood – it can't be lupus! Biopsy the lemons.

Chuck Norris: Life doesn’t give Chuck Norris lemons. Chuck Norris gives life lemons.

Matthew McConaughey: Take your shirt off.

Christopher Nolan: Surprise! The lemons weren't real. Or were they?

TAGS: Arts

Comments

LATEST NEWS

So Long and Thanks for All The Hits

In which we bid adieu and do something t...

MacKay Underestimated Libya Cost by $300 M

Well, at least we won, kinda....

SpaceX Laying Groundwork for Visits to Private Space Stations

No more low-orbit fly-bys for SpaceX –...

Globe and Mail To Hide Behind Paywall

As if they actually expect people to pay...

MCA's Death Puts 7 Beastie Boys Albums on Billboard 200

Only Hello Nasty and To The Five Borough...

Prince Charles Does The Weather, Is Actually Charming

While he might never get to be king, at ...

Greek Unemployment Hits New High

One in four Greeks are unemployed, while...

NDP Outpolling Tories

The NDP is now nipping at the Tories' he...

Details of First Low-Cost 'Artificial Leaf' Published

An MIT chemist has found a way to replic...

National Post Infographic Details Child, Forced Labour Worldwide

Some of the world's hottest economies â€...

Rothko, Pollock Help Smash Contemporary Art Auction Record

Nearly $400 million was spent on a haul ...

Only A Quarter of Americans Support Afghanistan War

A new poll shows that support for the de...

play

FEATURED VIDEO

This is apparently what news anchors (at least cool ones) do during commercial breaks.  Reminiscent of the coordinated dance routines our own news editor Mike Barber performs after a few beers.

The Life of a News Anchor: Better Than You Thought

This is apparently what news anchors (at least cool ones) do during commercial breaks. Reminiscent of the coordinated dance routines our own news editor Mike Barber performs after a few beers.